"Communication Skills"

I recently read an article in Entrepreneur blog called, Building a Business Partnership That Lasts, by Toddi Gutner . The article once again verified my belief that two important components of any successful relationship, or in this instance business partnership, is trust and effective (open) communication.

Gutner lists other factors as well but the common theme of trust & communication is evident. My belief is that trust is indeed the most important factor of any successful relationship and the pathway to it is effective communication. My belief follows a simple 5 step communication process that leads to establishing trust:

• You must “connect” with someone before you can “engage” them
• You must “engage” someone before you can “build rapport” with them
• You must “build rapport” before you can “be credible”
• You must “be credible” before you can “be trusted”
• You must “be trusted” before you can have a successful relationship

The pathway is based on a person’s ability to effectively connect, communicate and interact with others. If someone can’t first “connect” with someone how can they “engage”, let alone “build rapport” and be viewed as “credible.” Without that first step of “connecting” the other steps will not follow and in turn, trust will not be developed.

I’ve listed below, the four key components from the article on “building a business partnership that lasts” and as you can see trust & open communication is on the list. The author also lists mutual respect as well as shared vision and values. I’d say, however, that those two will not exist without trust and open communication.

• Trust
• Mutual respect
• Shared vision and values
• Honest and open communication

I’ve attached a link to the article for your review and your thoughts and comments are more than welcome and appreciated. Enjoy!

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/220115

I saw an interesting article in the Doctors Lounge Blog called Surgical Residents Benefit From Communication Training. The article states according to a study published in the August issue of the Archives of Surgery that surgical “residents who undergo training to improve patient-centered communication skills have superior case-specific performance.”

In addition the overall conclusion by the authors stated that “Patient communication skills need to be taught as part of residency training.”

This is an excellent article and validates my belief that there is a void in the healthcare arena for effective communication skills training. My work with nurse leaders and their staff has proved highly successful – both in their interactions as teams as well as with their patients and families.

With effective communication, hospitals can secure benefits in 3 core areas:

• Improved Patient Outcomes
• Improved Patient Safety
• Minimized Nurse Turnover

As I always say, communication is the key in any successful relationship. This article simply validates that point.

I’ve attached a link to the article here – enjoy: http://www.doctorslounge.com/index.php/news/pb/22412

I simply walk into the restaurant and I’m greeted by one of the bartenders with an enthusiastic “STEVE!” The bartender greets me with a big smile, a cold drink and quickly informs me of the next seat opening up at the bar.

That’s the initial experience I have upon entering Charley’s Steak House in Tampa. What follows next is an evening of mastery in creating the ultimate customer experience and the creation of the long-term loyal customer. Whether it’s the initial greeting, great food, family atmosphere or outstanding service, Charley’s is the best and that’s why I keep going back…and I’m not the only one.

Creating customer loyalty is a key differentiating point and is crucial, especially in hard economic times. When most people are “watching their wallets”, those businesses that create loyal customers are somewhat insulated. They’re insulated because they’ve created an atmosphere that transcends solely price. Customers may spend less, but they are still spending something, and it will be with those institutions or individuals where they have strong loyal relationships. Whether you’re in sales or in a business, customer loyalty is indispensable as it will sustain you in tough times.

The folks at Charley’s do a wonderful job of knowing their customers – what they like to eat, drink. But it doesn’t stop there as they get to know them personally as well. A night at Charley’s is like a night with family and it actually begins with the management. Manager, Chelley greets customers with a huge hug and warm smile and her goal is to ensure customer satisfaction. And that attitude flows down to the bar staff which is outstanding. Whether it is Kat, Jordan, Jimmy, Kristian, Lauren or Kate, they are personable, attentive and customer conscious. Each and every one of them effectively connects, communicates and engages with their customers.  They “walk the walk” in customer service and that keeps me coming back week in and week out.

Yes, the steaks are outstanding, but I can make a pretty mean steak myself. It’s the atmosphere, and customer service that keeps me loyal. And by the way, they serve many other outstanding food items aside from steak!

If you’re a business owner, or a sales person, or in any role for that matter that involves customer service, are YOU creating the atmosphere that keeps your customers coming back? If not, you’re not creating a value add and not building customer loyalty. And then you’ll be viewed solely on price and not the value you provide – that’s not where you want to be, especially in tough economic times.

So if you’re interested in creating customer loyalty for your clients, just stop by Charley’s to observe and enjoy the experience…and oh, enjoy a great steak while doing it!

One of the most effective modules I use in workshops is “The Name Game.” It is similar to 20 questions where I portray someone “in the news” and participants must guess my identity. The rules are simple; each person gets one question with the objective of obtaining the information necessary to uncover my identity; they only get a second question after the entire group has had the opportunity to ask a question. The group questioning continues until my assumed identity is uncovered.  Approximately 95% of the time a group will go through three to four rounds of questioning without uncovering my assumed identity.

The purpose of ”The Name Game” is to illustrate the poor condition of our questioning and listening skills. Inevitably, this module illustrates the point. The reason for the poor results is the over-reliance of the group on close-ended questions. Close-ended questions serve their purpose, which is to identify, clarify or validate information you need and usually require a one word response. Over-reliance on close-ended questions proves monotonous to the recipient and doesn’t elicit the proper information.

Arguably, effective questioning and engaged listening are the two most important skills in business, yet many people are deficient at it. Whether you’re in sales, management, leadership or team roles, your ability to ask engaging questions and then truly listen is a powerful tool. The results of “The Name Game”  illustrate the vast room for improvement that is present within organizations.

The goal of business conversations is to uncover the information necessary to align your company’s goods or services with the needs of your clients. The ability to ask the proper questions will ensure that this is accomplished. The pathway to discovering this information is to create a dialogue, not a monologue which happens when you rely heavily on closed-ended questions . Imagine being a customer on the receiving end of a barrage of closed-ended questions from a sales representative; or a manager speaking with an employee doing the same. In both instances it proves to be tiresome and clear that the questions are all about the questioner, not about the person being questioned.

The ability to successfully build “win-win” relationships is based on your ability to effectively communicate with others. Your ability to solve problems is dependent upon clearly identifying the problem and providing a solution. And the ability to clearly identify that problem is tied to the questions you ask and how well you listen.

Here are 3 simple steps to help you master the art of effective questioning and listening:

Set a Goal for the Conversation – Before entering any conversation, set a goal. If in a sales role, a goal may be to determine what  problems are keeping a customer up at night.  Or if I’m a manager it might be about finding out why an employee is not performing to his full potential. The point is, when you set a goal for the conversation your questions will be focused on accomplishing the goal.

Be in the Moment and Listen – Truly listen to hear and understand what is being said. Typically two factors cause breakdown when people enter into a communication. First, they are so intent on saying what they want to say that they miss hearing the other person. Secondly, when the other person responds, the intent turns to how they will respond rather than truly seeking to understand what the other person is saying. When entering a conversation, be empathetic and be there to truly hear and understand things from the other person’s point of view.

Ask Questions with a Purpose – Ask questions with the purpose of accomplishing your goal. By using a combination of questioning techniques you can drive the discussion to achieve your goal. There are many techniques to use, but I’ve listed the four most common I use in my work:

• Open-Ended Questions – These are used to encourage dialogue and get the person to open up and share information  (An example, “So tell me, how is your business doing and how is it trending in the market?”)
• Closed-Ended Questions – These serve the purpose of clarifying something you’ve heard or possibly validate a point or fact. (“So, you’re telling me your business is down 8%?”)
• Probing Questions – These are used to dig deeper to gain clarity on what you’ve heard and to hone in on some specifics you desire to follow up (“So your business is down 8% due to competition? Can you tell me how you’re losing the business and to what competitors?”)
• Summarizing Questions – These are used to review and validate all that you’ve heard after the entire conversation and ensure your on the right track to having your questions answered (“So you’re telling me your business is down 8% due to new product introductions and you need to find specific solutions to beat your competition, correct?)

By utilizing these questioning and listening skills you can have dialogues rather than monologues to secure a “win-win” environment for you and the person with whom you’re communicating.

“I inherit a mess everyday. As CEO of my company, I inherit a mess. But as CEO, it is my responsibility to fix problems, to get people to work together in harmony for a common goal.”

-Amilya Antonetti-

I saw this quote recently during an interview. I must say that I feel her pain. As a business owner I face many “messy” situations on a daily basis. In addition, I spend a great deal of time with my clients helping them solve problems and fix “messy” situations.

As I think about the great leaders who’ve influenced me – both those I’ve personally encountered as well as read about. They’re all great problem solvers. And as stated by Amilya Antonetti, they did it by getting people together. This point ties into my belief of establishing trust through effective communication. If you’re not trusted as leader, you’ll never get people to solve difficult issues. And if you’re not effectively connecting and communicating you’ll not have an environment of trust.

So I believe great leaders can solve difficult situations only when they are trusted. If they can effectively communicate, connect with people, they begin the process towards establishing trust.

There is more to than trust then simply communication, but it is indeed the pathway. Only when you are trusted as a leader can you get people together to come to consensus to solve problems. Maybe this is why we can’t seem to “solve” the problems facing our country – TRUST!

Last night I heard Dr. Drew Pinsky American radio and television personality, board-certified internist and addition medicine specialist say:

“Communication and trust are the foundation of any relationship.”

I must say that I couldn’t have agreed with him more. In fact that belief is the cornerstone of my business. Think about it, how can you have a successful relationship without trust? How can it be successful without effective communication?

In fact, this is becoming quite the popular topic with many excellent books out there talking about it – including my own book The Reach Out Approach – A Communication Process for Initiating, Developing & Leveraging Mutually Rewarding Relationships. Two others I’d recommend are:

• The Speed of Trust, by Stephen Covey’s son
• The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, by Patrick Lencioni

I subscribe to the fact that “effective communication” is the pathway to trust. I focus in 5 key steps that make up that pathway

• Connect – You must “connect” with someone before you engage

A connection can be established by simply finding “common ground”.  The best way to understand someone is to uncover as much as possible about that person. The main areas of focus should be: their immediate motivation and how this motivation is applied, their approach to risk and the manner in which they deal with it, their tactics for processing conflict and dealing with change and finally how they communicate. When you understand and master identifying these basics, you will better understand people and begin the process of aligning your communication and interactions with their needs and begin the process of engagement.

• Engage – You must “engage” with someone before you can build rapport

Once you’ve established a connection with a client the process of engagement allows you to begin to build a deeper relationship. Engagement is initiated by asking the appropriate questions that uncover the client’s problems and needs.  Additionally by becoming an accomplished “active listener”, effective questioners are “active listeners.”

• Build Rapport: You must “build rapport” before you can be credible

Once you’ve “engaged” you can then to begin to build rapport.  By “active listening” and effective questioning you will have uncovered customer problems and needs and be in the precise position to solve and meet them.

• Be Credible: You must “be credible” before you can be trusted

Credibility is critical because all of the work and gains won in the previous three steps can be destroyed with a loss credibility and once lost can be impossible to regain. The ultimate bottom line is to be a person of your word, deliver on your promises. And if for some reason you can’t then communicate the reasons with honesty and integrity.  People will forgive you not delivering on a promise, if you’ve communicated the reasons why and take the initiative to develop a plan of action on how you are going to rectify the situation.  Remember that consistency leads to trust.

• Be Trusted: You must “be trusted” before you have long term loyal relationships.

By progressing through these steps, you’ve built the foundation for trusting relationship. To continuing building on this foundation to create a durable loyalty continue to employ and refine each of these steps. You can always build on your connection points, engage and build rapport on much deeper levels and continue solidify your credibility by being a person of your word.

If you build the foundation, and nurture its development, you’ll establish a durable loyal relationship and a deeper and more rewarding success – both personally and professionally.

To read more about this process please read my article Effective Communication – The Pathway to Trusting, Loyal Relationships (pages 24-25): http://tinyurl.com/4r92wpt

A few Sunday’s ago (9/26/10) I appeared on the Straight Talk segment of the Boomer Nation Radio Show (WGUL 860 AM) to discuss Influencer Behavior Styles and in specific how to “recognize” people who exhibit this style. In the discussion I mentioned that there are 3 keys to look for on observing behavior styles. Those keys include:

• Identifying Behavioral Descriptors – For the Influencer Behavior Style those descriptors are; talkative, friendly, gregarious, out-going
• Identifying 3 Behavioral Indicators
  • Is the style Extroverted or Introverted? Dominant Styles are Extroverted
  • Is the style People-Oriented or Task-Oriented? Dominant Styles are People-Oriented
  • Is the style Direct or Indirect? Dominant Styles are Indirect‘
• How does the style deal with Change, Risk & Conflict? Influencer styles oblivious to change, they are moderate risk takers and their response to conflict is to run

To listed to the Straight Talk segment here: http://tinyurl.com/2fmnky6

In the upcoming weeks, we’re going to cover two more behavior styles and then, how to effectively communicate with each. So whether you’re in sales, management, team-environment, dealing with changing environment, you’ll know how best to deal with each – both introspectively as well as when you’re dealing with others.

Stay tuned!

Steve

A few Sunday’s ago (9/19/10) I appeared on the Straight Talk segment of the Boomer Nation Radio Show (WGUL 860 AM) to discuss Dominant Behavior Styles and in specific how to “recognize” people who exhibit this style. In the discussion I mentioned that there are 3 keys to look for on observing behavior styles. Those keys include:

• Identifying Behavioral Descriptors – For the Dominant Behavior Style those descriptors are; Aggressive, forceful, decisive, direct
• Identifying 3 Behavioral Indicators
  • Is the style Extroverted or Introverted? Dominant Styles are Extroverted
  • Is the style People-Oriented or Task-Oriented? Dominant Styles are Task-Oriented
  • Is the style Direct or Indirect? Dominant Styles are Direct‘
• How does the style deal with Change, Risk & Conflict? Dominant styles love and embrace change, they are high risk takers and their response to conflict is to fight

To listed to the Straight Talk segment here: http://tinyurl.com/2934vkk

In the upcoming weeks, we’re going to cover three more behavior styles and then, how to effectively communicate with each. So whether you’re in sales, management, team-environment, dealing with changing environment, you’ll know how best to deal with each – both introspectively as well as when you’re dealing with others.

Stay tuned!

Steve

As you all know the main thrust of my work focuses on empowering people to master the art of effective communication. With that said, effective communication runs the gamut from both the verbal and non-verbal. To help you understand the extent of what those consist of I wanted to share an excellent article about the percent breakout of “the words we use, out tone and lastly our body language.”

I’ve included information from an article on the website called Ecademy called The Three Elements of Communication – and the so Called “7%-38%-55% Rule, by Mark Lee. See the website here: http://tinyurl.com/22tweoz. I’ve copied and pasted the article below for you as well.

I hope you enjoy!

Steve

The Three Elements of Communication – and the so Called “7%-38%-55% Rule, by Mark Lee.

You’ve probably come across this ‘rule’ on a communication seminar or course somewhere. I’ve heard it repeated many, many times. More recently I learned that it is commonly quoted OUT OF CONTEXT such that wrong conclusions are drawn and taught. I thought it would be helpful to share the related clarification more widely.

The original research to which everyone refers was undertaken in 1971 by Albert Mehrabian (currently Professor Emeritus of Psychology, UCLA).

Mehrabian reached two conclusions:

1 – There are basically three elements in any face-to-face communication:
• words
• tone of voice and
• body language.

2 – These three elements account differently for the meaning of the message:
- Words account for 7%
- Tone of voice accounts for 38% and
- Body language accounts for 55% of the message.

It seems that many people who quote Mehrabian’s research seem unaware that this second conclusion was NOT a general observation relevant to all communications.

Mehrabian reached this second conclusion in the context of experiments dealing with communications of feelings and attitudes (i.e., like-dislike). Thus the often quoted disproportionate influence of tone of voice and body language is only really true when someone says they like/dislike something/someone but their tone of voice or body language implies the opposite. Commonly this will mean that two or more of the three elements are ambiguous. Such ambiguity appears mostly when the words spoken are inconsistent with the tone of voice or body language of the speaker.

This would be the case for example when someone says “I do not have a problem with you!” whilst at the same time their closed body language says the opposite and they avoid eye-contact and sound anxious.

In such situations Mehrabian’s research showed that the receiver of the communication will accept the predominant form of communication, the non-verbal (38% + 55%), rather than the literal meaning of the words (7%).

Let’s face it – that conclusion IN CONTEXT is not really a surprise is it?

On his website Mehrabian specifically states: “Please note that this and other equations regarding relative importance of verbal and nonverbal messages were derived from experiments dealing with communications of feelings and attitudes (i.e., like-dislike). Unless a communicator is talking about their feelings or attitudes, these equations are not applicable.”

My view, despite this clarification, is that it’s important to be congruent when we communicate. That is, our body language and tone of voice should be consistent with the words we use. Otherwise we can confuse people and reduce the prospect of getting our message across so that it is understood. We have to take responsibility ourselves for any failure to communicate effectively. It’s OUR fault and not the fault of our listeners.

The words we choose to use ARE generally more important than is often assumed. Certainly, when making a presentation we need to pay just as much attention to the words we say as we do to the way in which we will present them – how we will move and the variations in our tone of voice.

This is good news as most people will spend far more time working out WHAT they are going to say. than rehearsing HOW they are going to say it and HOW they will move when they are talking.

Perhaps one reason why Mehrabian’s research is quoted so often though is that body language and tone of voice are evidently important aspects of communication. And in the absence of any other validated research we have to quote Mehrabian to make the point – even if we do so out of context. Such quotes are generally effective though – maybe because of the tone of voice the speaker uses and their body language when they tell us about the “7%-38%-55% Rule”.

Communicate openly:

Trust is built through open and effective communication. Open means a back-and-forth conversation rather than a monologue, and effective means communicating in the manner and style of the person with whom you’re speaking. With the combination of openness and effectiveness you’ll be able to build the foundation for trust, and ultimately an effective relationship.

• To learn more, listen to the audio: http://tinyurl.com/25nxgv4

Hope you find the information insightful.

Steve